3 weeks ago I was packing my bags and I was extremely happy. Today I started packing again but this time I feel sad. This is always a very difficult time for me. I doesn´t matter how many times I go through this, leaving is always tough. I (rationally) know why I have to leave and why it is better for me to leave but it doesn´t make any sense emotionally. Why would you leave the people you love, the food you love, the culture you love? I have an answer to all these questions but having the answer does not prevent me from suffering big time.
Having the chance to spend Christmas with our families and friends was amazing. Our trip to the beach was one of our best trips yet. We enjoyed every single moment with the people we love and that´s what counts. While I pack my bags I also pack all these great memories. Whenever I feel sad or homesick, these memories will help me cope, they will connect us to the people we love.
I have always fought against the sadness I feel right before I leave. This time I have decided to embrace it. I know why I feel sad and sadness is the right feeling. However, I am going back knowing that I have made the best out of it. I have fully lived every moment and every experience. If my only New Year´s resolution was to be more aware, I think I am absolutely on track so far.